Written By Ajay Khandelwal
Disaster, A Tricky Subject!
Being extremely accident prone, I was surprised to be invited to a conference on how to prepare for disasters. Ah, what was it called? Know Your Hazard 2: The Second European Conference On Community Disaster Preparedness. Was this some form of cosmic joke? Having recently broken my left wrist (cycling) and my right arm (tennis), I wondered if I should be in the audience taking notes rather than on a panel! I mean how does one prepare for disasters? It's an excellent question. I just wish I knew the answer. Yes, thank you, my wrist and arm are now healed, but still, how could I possibly advise others on how to prepare for disasters, I mused to myself. The Swiss analyst, Marie Louise Von Franz, argued that we are sometimes invited to think or write about the very problem we are facing in our own lives. Perhaps this invitation was an act of synchronicity! I decided to keep quiet about my dilemmas, accept, and engage with the problem as best I could. I triple checked my travel details, and set off, one foot in front of the other. Perhaps I could learn something from the other inspiring delegates?
This excellent conference, now in its second year, is the brainchild of Edina Csanyi, and established under the umbrella of the European Investment Bank Institute, the local Red Cross, and the Climate Centre. The key idea put to delegates was seemingly very simple. Imagine a child called Nino, who wakes up to a flood which got into his house. What impact would this have on their body? Their mind? How could we rebuild a house that would be safe? How could we insure against such a calamity? How could we provide aid to Nino and their community? This question was explored across a number of interlocking dimensions, enabling us to have a good dialogue.
We all face hazards, both inwardly and outwardly, day in and day out. In my job as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, often working with humanitarian workers, I spend a great deal of my time hearing about the hazardous nature of life. Sometimes we are swimming along nicely, and at other times we are literally gasping for breath, or even submerged and feel we cannot go on! Life can change in the blink of an eye. Or incrementally over many many years. Life has both a tragic and sublime quality, and my patients and clients often share this thread of their experience with me. You can read my musings at www.ajaykhandelwal.com. This invitation to Luxembourg was an opportunity to temporarily escape from my consulting rooms and to see the world at large, and to mix with knowledgeable and accomplished colleagues, in a multi-disciplinary setting. Hopefully, there will be time for some novelty and surprises.
Fridges, Gales, Liquidity, and Interest Rates!
At the evening meal for speakers the night before the conference I was glad to find out that they were aid workers, academics, bankers, entrepreneurs, civil servants, architects, adventurers, and even insurance experts! An eclectic mix, which is where some of the best ideas can be created. I shared wine with Bostjan Gorensek from Slovenia, who was extremely modest about his efforts to help people affected by the floods in Slovenia. I have since found out that he is an avid writer of fairy tales and an accomplished singer. I do wonder if sometimes the most modest people are the best.
At dinner I sat next to Ricardo Mourinho Felix, the Vice President of the European Investment Bank. He was a personable host who made me feel right at home. Later on I thought about the nature of banking institutions and the financial ecosystem. After all, Luxembourg is a financial hub. During COVID banks turned on the taps and "flooded" the markets with liquidity, in order to keep the economy going. However, it seems much more of a challenge for banks to provide similar levels of liquidity when dealing with the Climate catastrophe. It's more of a Luxembourg drizzle. Money sloshes around in equities and assets, but it is hard to find money for the less tangible aspects of our world, such as the transition to a green economy. Interest rates around the world have been on the rise, and money is suddenly more expensive, and harder to get hold of. High interest rates are good for commercial banks, they get more back on what they lend out!
I guess that this conference was an attempt to raise "interest rates" in a more dialogic way, by encouraging discussion and debate about the climate catastrophe in the case of a single individual, Nino. Sometimes it is hard to think about large numbers, and big groups, the mind goes numb. But perhaps we could all be "interested" in Nino? On reflection I wondered if the conference was part of an effort to keep raising the "interest rate" in climate questions.
I turned to another dinner guest, Myriam Jacoby, and we discussed life in Luxembourg, She explained to me that most people who work in Luxembourg cannot afford to live there and therefore travel daily from neighbouring countries. She told me about her work for the Luxembourg Red Cross for Ukraine, Nepal and Moldova. I knew from the work of Mindfield, as we often work with humanitarian workers, that they are often the last to seek help for themselves. Mindfield was set up to try and ensure every aid worker can access psychotherapy in the field or when they return home. You can read more here https://themindfield.world. Ok, plug over!
I then turned to Professor Nicholas Barr, from the London School of Economics. I knew he was an expert on insurance and the author of twenty books, or I did after I read the conference brochure! I listened intently when he told me, "Don't insure your fridge. Only buy insurance for things you couldn't afford to repair." I imagined how I could repeat this at dinner parties and wow my guests! Feeling like I had learnt more than I ever manage to digest through all my formal study, I moved onto the table with explorer Christian Clot, Founder of the Human Adaptation Institute. The table was engrossed with his story of walking through a howling gale that was inconceivably loud. He was an explorer of the world, but also the psyche under extreme pressure. Listening to his extreme adventures, I didn't think it was the right time to raise the subject of insurance. Fortunately, we had a seasoned moderator, Tanya Beckett, who mixed with all the speakers, and I knew I would be able to bridge both scientific and humanistic concerns, and would be sure to get the best from the group.
Fabulous Trams, Visions of Nino, Hurricane Hilary
It was my first trip to Luxembourg. As I travelled around in advance of the conference the image of the fictional child Nino percolated in my mind. What is it like for a child to lose their home? Where is their family? Is there a community that they can depend on? What is the short term and longer term impact on them psychologically speaking? Whilst I was pondering all this, I was cosetted by the totally free public transport. It made a stark contrast to my patch of South London. The trams were frequent, smooth, well used and truly wonderful. At the same time, I felt conflicted about the fact that I had flown to attend. How could I talk about Climate catastrophe at the same time as contributing to it? Was I so important that I warranted an exception? No! At least I heeded the organisers request to use public transport when in town.
I continued trying to think of justifications for my flight. I reasoned to myself that it would be impractical to catch a train, or join by zoom. Also, I really wanted to visit Luxembourg, for selfish reasons too. I needed a break! As I gazed inwardly, I found out that I was extremely good at self justification, but less good at serious thinking! Perhaps it was really too hard for me to think personally about the whole situation? At least in this respect, I could relate to the many people who contribute to the culture of "uncare", or "unthinking." I too was one of them.
Psychotherapists talk about how we somehow forget our own actions, and just see the problem as "out there." I found it hard to think about my own role. This echoed an experience earlier in the year when I found myself on vacation in Los Angeles. Just as I was about to leave, "Hurricane Hilary" reared its turbulent head. I found the news mesmerising. The TV weather anchors seemed like Hollywood actors. Was I on a tour of Universal Studios, or was I watching reality? I was confused. In truth, I felt morally compromised to be on such a vacation that involved flying and car hire, but not so conflicted as to have done much about it.
Even though I was riveted by the minute by minute graphic updates of the unfolding weather calamity, I continued to also disbelieve it. Apparently weather events are tv ratings gold! I guess there is something in the human psyche that is drawn towards catastrophe. I was split. On the one hand I knew I shouldn't drive to the airport, as it was just dangerous on the highway. But another part of me erased the possibility of bad things happening. It's not that bad I reasoned. Just a bit of rain! I'm sure they are exaggerating! In fact, to deal with my ambivalence, I doubled down and drove to the Guggenheim museum on the way to the airport to add some aesthetic experience to my trip. Perhaps looking at some paintings would calm my racing mind? This really was denial. However, I started to feel uncomfortable when parts of the museum were shut down. There was no cafe! The museum tram was shut down due to rain, and replaced with a bus. I felt a mild panic and headed off for the airport. There were traffic jams. The luggage belts broke down due to the weather. I tell this story just to be frank about my own inability to face the reality of Climate catastrophe.
Nino and the Shattering Effect of Trauma
So, back to Luxembourg, and the conference. There was a live piano recital from Gregoire Baumberger, striking images from Frederic Lilien, and live cartoons from the talented Betje (check out her fab substack newsletter) and Ham Khan and Eugenia Rojo. The sound and images created new ways to experience and think about the unthinkable. I was thrown into thinking about Nino. When a child experiences such trauma their minds may split. Winnicott, the child psychoanalyst, argued that a false self is created to deal with the here and now. The true self goes into hiding. The analyst Donald Kalshed puts it this way
“Early relational trauma results from the fact that we are often given more to experience in this life than we can bear to experience consciously. This problem has been around since the beginning of time, but it is especially acute in early childhood where, because of the immaturity of the psyche and/or brain, we are ill-equipped to metabolize our experience. An infant or young child who is abused, violated or seriously neglected by a caretaking adult is overwhelmed by intolerable affects that are impossible for it to metabolize, much less understand or even think about.”
― Donald Kalsched, Trauma and the Soul: A psycho-spiritual approach to human development and its interruption
I asked the assembled delegates to enter the inner sanctum of the meeting hall. To leave behind their desks and computer screens, and to imagine what Nino may have experienced. Many delegates shared powerful images and experiences of flooding, both literal and emotional. As a group we then explored what sort of help a child, or an adult experiencing such devastation may need. Of course, in the real world, in crisis situations, indivdual therapy may not be possible. I learnt from my excellent fellow panellists, Shona Whitton, Aisling O'Connor and Mustafa Othman, about how to work with communities experiencing disaster in creative ways. They emphasised the importance of local networks and community. It felt like "interest" in Nino was sky high. A big thank you to the organisers for this opportunity. I can report that I have safely returned to London, and have cancelled the insurance policy for my fridge....